12 reasons why you can’t seem to find a relationship.
First, lose your impatience and throw on a cloak of patience. A loving relationship demands patience so before we go into figuring out why you haven’t found a relationship, you would need to decide to take things gradually and not to rush into anything. This is one silent reason why you haven’t found a relationship—or keep ending up with the bad ones.
Let us look at other Whys.
1. You are still healing from past hurts.
It is self-destructive to want to get into a new relationship just weeks, or even months, of coming out of one…with all the baggage. You would need to take time to completely heal.
2. You are afraid of getting hurt.
Do not allow the dealings of the past color how you view new relationships. If you keep thinking the next person will break your heart, don’t be surprised when they do just that. This isn’t because you’ve been damned to a life of heartbreaks but your actions predisposes you that. If you are afraid of being hurt, you’ll probably withdraw from committing and you can’t be demanding a 100% when you’re offering a 30%. The cycle might keep repeating.
3. You don’t need anyone.
It shows that you’re content with your life and don’t want to make any readjustment for anyone. The single life is different from the couple lifestyle. As a single, you’re only concerned about how things affect you directly, but in a relationship you have to consider the next person. You no longer make ‘I’ based decisions; it becomes a ‘we’ affair. So, it’s possible that you have no room for another person and this could be why you can’t seem to find a romantic interest. Create room for another person and they might just come around.
4. You are currently invested in other areas of life.
Sharing your life demands your time, attention and hard work. And if all of these resources are completely invested in other areas of your life, it won’t come as a surprise if you can’t find a relationship. This doesn’t mean you should stop working towards that promotion or getting that degree, it only means you should equally carve out time for this other life area. Or if it’s better, achieve that goal first—get the degree now and free up more time to cultivating a relationship.
5. You still have to work on being a good partner.
Your anger issues or your drinking problems might be the reason why you’re yet to find the love you deeply crave. It might not be an anger problem as much as it is a spending problem. If you desire someone who is prim and proper, it will be wise if you take a look inwards and make sure what you want will want you.
6. You are waiting for someone to come and make you happy.
A life of misery repulses. If you haven’t figured how to make yourself happy, don’t be offended when no one wants to stay within the same space as you. Take up hobbies that interests you and makes you want to keep living. We all want to be with happy people.
7. You are too picky.
It’s completely okay to have a list of what you want from a partner. Only make sure that you don’t use that as an excuse to chase prospective partners away. Set your standards high…but attainable.
8. You don’t get out and socialize.
Hardly will the love of your life meet you at your door steps. You would have to go out; attend events; party with family; enjoy hangouts with friends; meet new people…and talk. Smile, engage meaningfully in conversations; don’t hide away. Have a life and live fully!
9. You don’t know what you want.
You think you do, but you move from relationship to relationship with a broken compass. There are diverse kinds of people out there. You need to know yourself well, to know the kind that will suit you. Do you need a partner that will always be close to home or do you prefer one who spends months on work-related trips? Know what you want and you would be able to identify it when it comes.
10. You don’t have reasonable expectations.
If you spend your single days feeling lonely and sorry for yourself, it might push you to thinking that a relationship will fix you up. Not true. A relationship comes with its own challenges and work. But if you don’t know this, you might spend your life looking for where it’s all rosy and peachy. And you might never find this.
11. You are too selfish. You can’t make the world all about yourself.
The sun doesn’t revolve around you. Make the people around you feel important. Talk respectfully to others. Consider the best interest of other people. Learn to give. Bless the lives around you with the goodness that flows from your life. Do not set your whole focus on what others can do for you…also consider what you can do for them. Everyone loves a caring person. Be one.
12. You are insecure about yourself.
You have to trust your strengths and abilities. Accept your weaknesses. Love yourself completely! Don’t live as if you need saving…walk shoulder high. Don’t go about looking for pity; no one wants a sorry case on their hands. This could be why you haven’t found a relationship. Change how you look at yourself.
Everyone deserves to be loved and you are not an exemption. Only make sure you are not robbing yourself of this beautiful life experience through anything you are doing wrongly. Go through the list again and note areas you need to work on…and work on them.
And while you wait for that relationship, create a beautiful life for yourself. Don’t stay back and allow your entire thoughts revolve around finding love. Love would come… only get yourself ready for it. Here’s wishing you all the love you desire, cheers!